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Monday 4th of April 2016 | 10:27 pm


Handful of Feeling

I'm at times a very emotional guy. Other times I feel nothing, more numb and cold inside. In my recovery I've been told that emotions are not something I should base my actions and decisions on. Makes sense for multiple reasons. A couple of those could be someone wanting to give in to drugs or feel so terrible they want to commit suicide. I myself have been so upset and felt an incredibly heavy feeling of awful swirling in my bowls, up into my chest, and flowing down my arms and legs that I contemplated killing myself. In those moments I wanted to die. The reason I chose not to is for the fact that I'd be burning in Hell for all eternity and that is a far worse place to be than anything I'm going through in this life. And Hell NEVER ends! A wonderful fact I know is that Heaven also is for all eternity. Heaven is the place I want to go when my days on earth are over.